What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
by silvermooncatgirl
Summary: I'm trying out comedy... Not too sure how it's working out, but give it a go. Brock falls for a girl Ash is dating and Misty finds her evil twin. I suck at summaries so please read and review. I welcome ideas.
1. Chapter 1

_So this is what heaven feels like... I'm drowning in pleasure... This is just **too** good... Oh, yeah, oh, look at you I want to just** eat** you all up... Come to me..._

"Ash."

Ash was jerked out of his reviere by Brock, waving his sundae spoon in his face.

"Huh?"

"You were transfixed!" Brock exclaimed.

"But look at it, Brock," Ash said. He smiled dreamily at his ice cream. To be honest, to Brock it looked _gorgeous_, toffee and chocolate ice cream with whipped cream, strawberries, chocolate syrup and fudge squares all squashed on top of a melting chocolate brownie.

"I am looking at it."

"It's so beautiful," Ash moaned. "I don't want to eat it."

"I will," Misty commented, smiling at Brock and Ash from her side of the table. She spooned some vanilla icecream into Togepi's smiling mouth and grinned when it chirped happily.

"No!" Ash shrieked, earning himself some funny looks from surrounding diners.

He leapt on the sundae; demolishing half the brownie in one huge gulp.

"Gross," Misty said disdainfully, spooning strawberry icecream into her mouth delicately and dabbing at it with a napkin.

"Yeah, calm down, Ash," Brock said, whose eyes were glazed over as he stared at an attractive blonde girl standing with her mother by the counter.

"Shuddup," Ash said through a mouthful of brownie, splattering the table (and Misty) with huge lumps of chocolate.

Misty wiped her face, her expression disgusted. "Ash, that is... infantile."

"I know," Ash grinned, his teeth stained dark brown. Misty cringed.

"It's gross!" Misty shrieked.

"'snot," Ash grumbled, looking to Brock for back-up. Brock was still absorbed in his gazing at the blonde girl.

"Yes, it is," Misty snapped. "I'm serious, Ash, you're putting me off my ice cream!"

"Maybe I need to," Ash teased, "You don't need any _more_ ice cream... You're getting chubby, Mist!"

Misty flung her spoon across the table. It struck Ash on the cheek, leaving a trail of strawberry sticking to it as the spoon slid slowly down his face and dropped into his lap.

"Hey!" Ash cried. "If I wasn't eating my ice cream right now, I would get up and leave."

Misty rolled her eyes and held out her hand for her spoon. Ash handed it to her with an angry mutter. He then picked up the sundae bowl and proceeded to down the remaining ice cream. Misty finished her own ice cream (with more elegance and ladylike-ness than Ash) and then they looked over to Brock.

He was gone.

"Oh, god, here we go," Misty sighed, getting up, stuffing Togepi back into her backpack and setting off to look for Brock.

She found him almost immediately. He was standing (or rather, crouching in a grovel-like manner) beside the blonde girl. Her mother had presumably gone somewhere because she was alone.

"If you don't mind me asking... oh great goddess... what is your name?" Brock asked, clasping one of the girl's hands and beaming up at her.

"Erm... I'm Melody," the girl said, pulling her hand out of Brock's grip.

"MELODY!" Brock shrieked, his voice suprisingly high and squeaky. "BEAUTY! RADIANCE!"

"...Yes..." Melody whispered, her eyes wide and frightened. She saw Misty approaching and smiled gratefully at her. "Oh, look, darling, your carer's here."

"Carer...?" Brock murmured, off guard. "Misty? No, no, no! She's just my friend."

"OK," Melody said understandingly.

"BROCK!" Misty hollered, storming over and grabbing his ear. Brock howled.

"Sorry about him," Misty smiled, sweatdropping.

"Oh, that's alright... I understand that he's... well, you know..." Melody gestured 'crazy' by screwing her finger into the side of her head. Misty skipped a beat, but nodded, grinning to herself.

"Yeah, yeah," she said, shaking her head in what she hoped was a noble way. "Looking after him is..." she pretended to wipe her eyes, "...the most rewarding thing I could do."

Melody nodded. She patted Misty's arm and walked away.

"WELL DONE BROCK!" Misty shouted in his ear. "SHE THINKS YOU'RE _CRAZY!"_

"I know," Brock murmured. Tears began to spill out from his (scary and slit-like) eyes. "_She thinks I'm crazy!"_ He began to wail in ernest, causing Misty to almost fall over as he leaned on her, bawling helplessly.

"Now come on -" Misty started. She froze and dragged Brock in the opposite direction.

"So..." Melody whispered into Ash's hair. "You're a Pokemon trainer, huh?" Ash grinned and put his arms around her.

"Yep," he muttered. "And the best you're ever going to date."


	2. Chapter 2

"ASH!" Misty shrieked. "What the hell are you doing with that girl?"

"I like her," Ash said defensively.

"She's wearing a boob tube and a mini skirt," Misty pointed out.

"So what?" Ash snapped, though his cheeks flared pink.

"So _Brock_ fancies her! He's going to kill you, Ash!"

"I'd like to see him try," Ash scoffed.

"He's about six feet tall and you're about four seven," Misty growled.

"Yeah but I'm like a panther," Ash said, posing. "I can _leap_. I can_ scratch._ I can -"

"Look like an absolute freak?" Misty asked innocently.

"Yes... Wait, no!"

* * *

Brock was on the prowl. He had seen (and scared away) six girls.

"Hey!" he called after a pretty blonde walking along with her Skitty. "Come over here."

"No way," the girl snapped, scooping up her Skitty and stalking off.

"Aww man," Brock moaned.

Misty had washed her hands of Ash. After trying (and failing) to convince him to break up his long (not) and meaningful (definately not) relationship with Melody, she had stormed off and was now sitting on the hotel lawn, watching Togepi fall over after trying to carry a twig.

"Honestly. Stupid Ash," she muttered to herself. She knew she was going to have to distract Brock from Ash's new girlfriend or he would most likely shut himself in his hotel room or leave their little group. Misty couldn't stay on her own with ASH and she had no intention of going home. She began to formulate a plan.

"Helloo," chirruped a small redhaired girl, walking towards Brock. She had a face full of makeup and short straight hair which was tied into two stubby pigtails hanging by her cheeks. She was wearing a pair of denim shorts which looked a little like Misty's, and a pink vest top with the tag still in it.  
Either she was very well developed or she had two oranges stuffed down her bra, but whichever it was, Brock found her irresistable.

"Hey," he drooled. The girl giggled.

"Hello, handsome," she said. "Wanna date me?"

"... SURE!" Brock screamed, and leapt onto Misty. (It was Misty, with oranges stuffed down her top and a new teeshirt) She pretended to be enjoying the slobbery wet kisses Brock was now planting all over her face.

"Wait, wait wait," she said, remembering to adopt her new squeaky voice. "I think we're going too fast... Maybe you buy me a soda first?"

"OF COURSE I WILL MY NEW AND PERFECT GIRLFRIEND!" Brock howled, grabbing Misty's hand and dragging her to the cafe.

"Great," Misty muttered to herself, rolling her eyes and Brock didn't let go of her hand and ran into one of the marble pillars in the hotel lobby. He stood up, his face slightly squashed up and tears streaming down his face, but still beaming manically. "Never mind!" he shouted. "I'm FINE!"

"Oh good," Misty simpered.

They sat in the cafe a little later, Brock gazing over the top of his soda at Misty, who was trying to give him the (made-up) life story he had asked for.

"Well my name is... um... Jessie James," she said, slotting in the first names that came into her head. "I come from... erm... Veilstone City and I want to be a contest co-ordinator thingy-type person."

"I see... I see... Jessie James... Such a beautiful name..."

"So what about you?" 'Jessie James' asked. "Where are you from?"

Brock thought for a while. "Pewter City, I think," he said. "I think being in your presence must be... must make... me forget things."

Misty suspected it was the run-in with the pillar that did that, but held her tongue and smiled sickeningly. "Thanks, Brockie," she murmured, fluttering her eyelashes.

"Oh Jessie," Brock drooled. "You're so beautiful."

"Thank you," Misty said. She ducked her head to take a sip of her soda and rolled her eyes as Brock said,  
"The top of your head is so lovely."

* * *

Ash and Melody hadn't bothered with introductions.

They were lying close together on the grass in front of the hotel, hands clasped together and resting on Ash's stomach.

"It's a gorgeous day," Melody breathed. "It's so _hot_."

"Mm," Ash agreed. It was one of the few words (is "mm" a word?) he had said to Melody along with "yeah" "oh" and "uhuh".

I wish I was wearing something a bit cooler," Melody continued. Ash looked at her.

"How could you wear anything cooler?" he asked, looking at her bright red boob tube and short white miniskirt.

"I don't know," she giggled. "I could be in my bikini."

"Oh," Ash said, feeling himself go pink. "Um. That would be nice."

"Wait and see then," Melody smiled.

* * *

Misty had finally disentangled herself from Brock on the pretence that she needed to go to the bathroom. She was sitting in her room with a makeup remover wipe, scrubbing her newly non-orange face.  
"Honestly. What am I doing?" she asked herself. She'd changed back into her yellow top and braces, and was feeling a lot more comfortable with her hair back in its usual ponytail.  
She looked out of the window and sighed when she caught sight of Ash and Melody sitting by the pool underneath Misty's window.

"Eyes on stalks," Misty muttered. She leaned out of the window and called, "ASH!"

He looked up and saw her. He rolled his eyes, whispered something in Melody's ear and got up, leaving her giggling and splashing Ash as he left.

A few minutes later Ash knocked on Misty's door. "Hey," he said. "What's up?"

"I've done something a bit wrong," Misty admitted. "You know how Brock fancies Melody, right? Well, I thought that he might leave us two alone -" Misty shuddered. "- so I put a load of makeup on and did my hair different and wore my new top... and... well, I pretended to be another girl and am now going out with him."

Ash stared at Misty for a very long time.

Then he burst out laughing.


	3. Chapter 3

"Shut up! It's not funny!" Misty shouted.

"It really is!" Ash wheezed.

"No. It. Is. Not." Misty punched Ash with every word and he soon got the message. He retreated into the corner.

"Well what do you want me to do about it?" he asked, shielding his arms from any further attacks.

"Break up with Melody," Misty informed him. He gasped and went pale.

"I can't do that!" he shrieked. "She said she might... _you know_... with me tonight!"

"So find someone else," Misty sniffed. "There'll be tons of girls who want to do it with you."

"Really?" Ash's face lit up.

"No."

"Oh."

"Really, Ash, you have to dump this girl. I can't be Brock's girlfriend for ever, can I?" Misty took a threatening step towards him and glared.

"No," Ash said. "But it will be funny when you and Brock do the thing Melody and I are going to do."

"For god's sake, Ash," Misty snapped. "Call it sex."

"OK!" Ash said enthusiastically.

"Baby," Misty jeered. "Come on, go and break up with Melody. We'll find you someone else to go nuts over."

"Ohh..." Ash moaned. "Please don't make me break up with her before we do it."

"OK, OK!" Misty gave up. "You two go back to your room _right now_, do it, and then break up. I am _not_ being Jessie James forever."

"Jessie James?" Ash asked. "I can't believe Brock didn't see through that."

"He's blinded by love," Misty explained wearily.

"Ah. He does tend to get blinded a lot, doesn't he?"

"Yep," Misty said, business-like all of a sudden. "OK, here's the deal. I go to Brock _after_ you've broken up with Melody. I tell him I'm leaving for Veilstone City."

"We're in Veilstone City," Ash pointed out.

"Ah. Well, I don't know... I'll say I'm going to my mother's house in Cerulean and so I have to get on a plane. I'll break his heart a little bit, and then you come over all concerned. Then even if he finds out about you and Melody it won't matter because you'll have proved yourself such a good friend."

Ash blinked. "What?"

"Never mind," Misty sighed. She shoved Ash towards the door. "There's a condom machine in the bathrooms. Go get one and then break up with Melody!"

**Short chapter, I know. I was just trying to get the plan across, although Ash doesn't have a clue. Does he ever?! Anyway, read on! Reviews always accepted.**


	4. Chapter 4

Ash sat down next to Melody and kissed her neck. She hadn't known he was there and jumped a little, grinning when she saw him.

"Why wait til tonight?" he whispered, as seductively as he could. Actually, he sounded a little like a maniac who was about to kill someone, but Melody must have had a fetish for maniacs with bloodlust as she wrapped her arms around his neck and breathed against his lips, "Sounds like a plan..."

* * *

"Done it," Ash said shakily, as Misty opened her hotel door. He grinned dreamily. "That was... so good."

"The break-up, Ash," Misty reminded him. "How did that go?"

"Not so well," he said, sinking down onto Misty's bed with a smile. "She accused me of using her and said she never wanted to see me again. She's gone back to her mother's hotel room."

"Oh well," Misty said heartlessly. "Right. I'm just going to get changed into my Jessie outfit."

She went into the bathroom and locked the door. Ash fell backwards off the bed after he'd forgotten to stay sitting up and lay on the floor, smiling to himself. Melody had been _so_ good. He couldn't stop thinking about her... He felt like either more sex, or another of those ice cream sundaes.

"Ash?" Misty's voice came floating out from under the bathroom door. "Are you OK? Did you trip over something?"

"Nah," Ash called. "Just fell... Fell off the bed!" he giggled.

"God," Misty said contemptuously. "I might've known that sex would bring out the stupid side of you. Oh, sorry, that's your _only side_."

Ash was too blissed out to even respond. He just laughed away to himself until 'Jessie James' came out of the bathroom.

"Going to break up with Brock," she said, swept out of the room and beckoned to Ash to come with her. He did so, not complaining when she pinched his arm as she saw Brock standing at the bottom of the stairs. "Go behind me," she snapped. "And don't come down until I... erm... cough. OK?"

"KO," Ash said, then laughed. "Mist, did you see what I did? I said... KO instead of OK..."

"Yes, yes," Misty said, shoving him backwards so he stumbled up the stairs. She walked down the stairs, adopting a sombre expression.

"Jessie!" Brock exclaimed when she reached him. He kissed her on the cheek and she looked down, trying to remain 'sad'.

"Brockie," she whispered. "My mother is ill. I have to go back to Cerulean City... My plane is booked, Brockie. I'm never going to see you again."

"Wha-? Jessie. No! You can't! _Don't leave me!_" Brock jumped to the floor, grasping both of Misty's hands in his. Tears streamed down his tanned face.

"Brock," 'Jessie' said firmly. "I'm leaving. It was fun. Bye."

Misty turned away, disentangled her hands from Brock's and walked back up the stairs. She coughed loudly as she passed Ash's 'hiding place' which was a doorway. Thankfully, he had calmed down a little.

"Brock?" Ash said, concernedly (if there was one thing Misty gave him credit for, it was convincing acting). "Is everything OK, man?"

"N-no!" Brock howled, grabbed Ash's teeshirt and pulled him into a huge bear hug. Ash struggled to breathe but patted Brock on the back.

"A girl?" Ash asked.

"Yeah," Brock sniffled, putting Ash down and wiping his eyes. "I loved her so much. I met her today but it felt like we'd known each other for years and years... I loved her, Ash, I was in love with her."

"Yeah," Ash said understandingly. "It's OK... Really, man, you're going to be fine. We'll find you someone else to go nuts over," he added, smiling as he remembered Misty saying that to him.

"OK," Brock hiccuped. "Do you think you could get me a dirty magazine to look at, Ash?"

"Erm... Sure."

Ash went into the hotel lobby's shop and returned a few minutes later with a carrier bag. "It comes with a free gift," he said to Brock. "I think it's a keyring."

Brock took one look at the front of the magazine (which showed an attractive girl with Pidgey feathers in strategic places) and said instantly, "Ash, that's a vibrator."

"Oh," Ash said. "Yeah, I knew that... Got to go."

He ran back up the stairs and bumped into Misty who was standing at the top, biting the fake nails that hadn't been there before.

"I got him a magazine," Ash said.

"What?" Misty asked. "Who the hell are you, you bloody creep?"

"Huh?" Ash cried. "I'm _Ash_, Misty, remember?"

"My name's not_ Misty,"_ the girl shouted. "I'm Hanna."

"Huh?" Ash repeated. "Misty, stop playing around."

"I'm not playing around... OH," came a voice from behind Ash. He turned around to see Misty standing behind him, gazing at the girl who looked just like her.


	5. Chapter 5

"So who are you?" Hanna asked for the ninth time, narrowing her eyes.

"My name's Misty Waterflower," Misty said, finally finding her tongue, staring at the girl.

"And I'm Brock!" Brock cried, racing up the stairs, already having forgotten 'Jessie James'.

"Shut up, weirdo," Hanna snapped. "This doesn't concern you."

Brock slunk back down the stairs. Ash followed him, clearly hoping he would buy him another ice cream sundae.

"So you're Misty," Hanna said. "Nice name," she added, her lip curling in distaste.

"_Hanna_," Misty countered. "Sounds like... erm... ham."

Hanna laughed. She had a light, girly laugh but her eyes flashed and she glared at Misty.

"We're identical," she said slowly, walking around Misty.

"Apart from the hair," Misty pointed out, because Hanna's was longer and straight down her back. It was exactly the same shade of red as Misty's, though.

"Shut up," Hanna said, "we're identical. Face it."

"How...?" Misty asked.

"I don't know, do I? Stupid little squirt," Hanna said rudely, and shoved past her to storm down the stairs.

"Sisters," said an old lady who had poked her head around her door, kindly. "Never mind, dear, she'll come back."

"We're not sisters," Misty said, bemused. The old lady looked shocked.

"But you're identical!" she said.

"Well, duh," Misty said softly, still staring after the retreating figure of Hanna.

The old lady withdrew inside her room with a mutter of "kids!" and Misty set off after Hanna. She was determined to know more about her.

* * *

"Oh, no, here's the limpet," Hanna sneered, when Misty caught up with her in the cafe.

"I just wanted to know what you do," Misty said, breathlessly. She had run down three flights of stairs to catch up with Hanna and there was no way she was going to accept no answers.

"What the hell do you mean, squirt?"

"I'm a gym leader," Misty said. "What do you do?"

"I work in a Pokemon Mart, OK?" Hanna rolled her eyes. "Look, Misty-" her face wrinkled up like she didn't want to say Misty's name, "I don't care about this. This whole lookalike thing. OK? You're just a little kid. Go on, scram."

Misty sighed.

"Piss off!" Hanna shouted, earning herself a reproachful look from the waitress. "GO ON!"

Misty ran off, slightly alarmed.

"Ash, Brock," she panted a little while later, after running up and down the stairs looking for them. "I know you've just broken up with Jessie, Brock... And I know you've... uh..." she tried to think of a way to mention Melody without upsetting Brock when he realised Ash had dated one of his dream girls. "And you've not got a girlfriend right now," she finished, with a meaningful look at Ash.

"Uhuh," Brock said, his eyes lighting up as he sensed the upcoming mission had something to do with girls.

"So... will one of you go ask her out or something? Find out more about her?" Misty asked, smiling hopefully.

"YES!" Brock shrieked. "I will! YOU CAN COUNT ON ME!!"

"I know I can," Misty said doubtfully. "But really... I was thinking more like Ash could go. He's got more... um... experience in those matters."

"Ha!" Brock scoffed. "He's never even had sex, Misty. Face it."

"Oh, and you have?" Ash snapped.

"...No," Brock admitted. "But neither have you!"

"I have too!" Ash shouted. "It was _amazing_!"

"Because you _did it to yourself_!" Brock countered.

"I did not!"

"Did too!"

Misty sighed. "Shut up, you two," she said, grabbing hold of one of their ears in each hand and twisting. Hard. "Look, Brock, Ash _has_ done it. You haven't, but that's OK. You're only seventeen after all."

"Ash is fifteen," Brock sniffed. "Who was she, Ash?"

"Melo-"

"No-one," Misty said quickly. "A girl he met on the street, that's all."

"Ew," Brock wrinkled his nose. "On the street?"

"Not exactly," Ash snapped. "OK, Misty, I'm going after Hanna."


End file.
